Sundevildaddy

Rather odd title don’t you think?

Yeah, so do I.  However, I think it describes the topic perfectly.

I’m not quite sure what it is… the ‘Vintage’, reflective, touches your Soul feel of She & Him, The Weepies and Kate Nash playing in the background, or the ‘Out with the buds’ feel I got after watching “Yes Man” with Jim Carrey this evening.  Or, perhaps, its the way the moon is (barely) glowing through the evening fog, but, I miss Certain (note the strong presence of that word) portions of my ‘previous’ life.

Now, to lay down a small disclaimer here…     I promised myself, way back when, when I decided to start a website about Me, my thoughts and the world revolving around me as I see it (which, anyone who knows me knows I am a very private person to those not close to me, so this is quite the inversion of my personality), I would NOT use this as a bitchy, moan and groan, piss and wish forum rotting in decay below a years downpour of self pity, dripping with emotion and grimy with O-Woes-me.  However, I’m ‘on the hunt’ as it were.  I need to find if I’m going through this as a lone rider, or if I’m part of a bigger party trekking the plains of solitude, reminiscence and sheer loneliness.

I stated above “Certain aspects of my previous life”.  To clarify, I mean the portion that had Friends, Relatives, Hang-outs and Activities outside of my home and work.  You know, the Friday Night meet-ups at the pub or dance club, pool hall or lake, poker with the guys, Hanging out, laughing, bullshitting and carrying on, completely void of any thought of work, responsibility and time.

Now, please don’t ‘read into this’ without reading.. um.. into this further.  I love my life.  My wife, children, job (at times ) ) and the security we are afforded in our lives.  Through thick and thin, I will be by my beautiful brides side, and I know, with all certainty, she will be by mine.  And, I truly believe the most important part, she is and will remain, my best friend.  I just wish we were not such Home-bodies (Sometimes).  Is that wrong of me to feel?  Should I be completely content with staying home, each and every night.  No bars (which, in all actuality, I’m fine with… Ive had my days of partying and passing out… I’m done with it, thanks.), no pubs (there is a difference), pool halls, dance clubs (though, where we live, it might as well just be called a bar), no spontaneous road trips, jaunts to the lake/beach/mountains, etc.  In short, nothing.  Sad as it is to say, my social hour is spent here at the desk, nose buried in the keyboard, eyes glued to the screen, socializing, or more accurately, wasting time, in Second Life and the News (Gotta Love the AP).  God what a waste.

Now, with not being able to work at the moment because of an injury (6 months ago… Thanks a lot *&%*^*^$!!!) caused by a coworker, our current financial situation is tight, but livable, with a few pennies here and there we can afford for such activities as stated above (on an extremely limited basis).  Yet, with our free weekends (she still works… which I hope to change the need for when I get back to work), you would figure we would at least take a leave of absence from these four walls at least once a month.  Even a short trip based, directionally, on a finger pointed. And yes, Ive done that quite often throughout my life… if you never have, here is a crash course on it:

1)     Sigh in boredom (or frustration from work, etc etc)

2)     Fill up the car (check your account first don’t need to get stuck somewhere you’ve never been and not being able to fill up)

3)     Double check your attire.  You don’t want to show up for dinner at a 5 star in your robe and slippers do you?  Then why would you want to go on a drive to relax in a suit and tie?

4)     Roll down window

5)     Lick your finger tip (I hope you washed your hands first 0.0!)

6)     Stick your arm out the window, in a perfect ‘L’ shape with your finger pointed to the sky

7)     Now, here’s where it gets tricky as there are two methods you can approach this somewhat awkward moment.  (Since most people driving or walking by will see your arm out the window with your finger pointed rather precariously straight up, as if you have noticed the first publicly viewable sight of an Alien craft or awaiting landing of the worlds smallest Hawk on your finger tip.  (The funny part about this, and you can get a rather good chuckle out of it, is people will actually stop [when walking] or crane their heads out a window of a car, straining to see what the hell ever it is you are pointing at).

Method A)  If you just got off work, are stressed out or worried sick about something going on or coming up at work, and are in the throes of that good ol’ “Gotta Get Away” mode… Feel the wind on the tip of your moist finger tip.  Now, start your car, turn the wheel and drive in the Same Direction as the wind, occasionally turning left or right here and there at whim, and don’t stop for at least an hour.  I know you are asking why the same direction or an hour before stopping and I’ll share with you why I do this below.

Method B)  If you’re not particularly stressed, or simply just bored, rotate your hand around (in a sort of ‘Whoop-D Doo’ motion) allowing your finger to rotate around a  full 360° a couple of times… breathe twice then stop, leaving your finger pointed, horizontally, in whatever direction you stopped at.  Start your car, turn the wheel and drive in that direction for at least a half hour before stopping.

My reasons for this: Method A.  By driving with the wind to your back, there is a feel of driving faster than you are actually going.  Ever noticed that? Psychologically this plays a trick on your brain making you think you are driving fast away from work, home, stress and the things which are elevating your blood pressure or giving you the feeling of claustrophobia.  You will actually start to de-stress as the time ticks away.  You don’t want to stop for at least an hour because you are still in your ‘neighborhood’.  You are still relatively close to home, in somewhat familiar surrounding, which will work against what we are trying to accomplish here… Getting away.  After this hour has passed, go ahead and make a pit stop.  Drop into a diner and grab a cup of coffee, or whatever your preference, and sit for a few in a booth, looking out over the restaurant.  I do this occasionally in a Starbucks or similar, even though I’m not particularly fond of  that kind of environment, it does allow just enough commotion to distract me.  It allows me to see the chatty, relatively happy (most of the time) faces of others, which, by nature, influences my state of mind (if you let it).  Do this a couple times along your drive, making sure not to visit the same type establishment twice.  For example: stop 1) Starbucks, stop 2) a small pub, stop 3) a diner, stop 4) a small miscellany shop or art store, etc.  Once it is either getting late enough that you absolutely must get home, or, you are finally starting to relax, go ahead and start heading home.  It’s no vacation, but this should help you see things through a little less stressful until you can truly get away for a few days.

Method B.  This is your opportunity to feel free!  Just picking a random direction and heading out.  Seeing the sights, making random turns along the way, letting the wheels and music carry you.  Stop here and there just to watch others, in places you have never been, interact.  Pick random highway signs to follow.  Coast highway- Left 1/2 mile?  Mountain range to the Right?  State Park or Downtown city in sight? Go for it!  Check it out!  It’s time to explore, time to relax, time to be free!  You will be amazed at how great you feel when you get home, dreaming of all the things you had seen and places you visited, then waking up refreshed and ready to do it all over again.

Don’t forget to keep your radio on for both methods.  I normally ride with Metallica, Linkin Park and the like when I’m out for shear fun, or She & Him or Yael Naim if I want to relax, or even a bit of CCR and ZZTop or Jimmie for reaching back to my roots.

Back to my original topic… Now that I’m getting anxious with my desire to follow my own advice.  (For me, its no fun if I can’t take my wife).

I know I’m not hitting “Mid-Life” just yet, opposite my celestial name-sharer, the Sun’s not that… erm… well aged yet.  I’ve barely dipped my toes into early thirties (ok, maybe a whole foot, but well above water here ;p).

I was hoping to do a little camping, however, apparently, the last time we went camping we somehow got the tent wet… I don’t know how, it was a week of hot sunshine without a cloud in the sky, but, it did get wet.  And mold and mildew wreak havoc on nylon.  So in the dumpster it went.  As for buying another, well, I kindly refer you back a few sentences where I discuss our budget.

I would love to take everyone to ride the quad, but, we sold it/had it stolen.  Take your time… I’ll wait for you to stop scratching your head over that one ;p .  We sold it to a ‘friend’ of ours a few years ago.  I warned her “It cannot be used for mudding like the big boy quads (it was a little 90cc I picked up for our daughter)”.  What’s the first thing she did with it? You guessed it! Ran it around her folks property after a month of rain in knee deep mud.  And, as I had warned her, the motor seized up and the block cracked from overheating. I’ll explain why I say “Stolen” next.

Part of the sales agreement was that she would pay us 12 weekly payments of $50 (in line with her paychecks at the time) for a total of $600 (The local ‘toy’ shop as I call it was selling an identical for $1400).  We agreed to this and to no interest because 1) we considered her a friend and 2) because of #1, we trusted her.  She had paid $100 dollars by the time she blew the motor.  After months of hounding her about it and threatening to take her to court, she finally tells us its location and says “just go pick it up”.  I remind her that it was in top condition (like new) and that I would not only go after her for the remainder of the agreement, but the repairs as well (after speaking to an attorney about it, he informed me of what all I could go after her for), she got pissed off and had me removed from wal-mart (her employer).  I found it rather funny though since, I worked for that store quite some time before that and was personal friends with the Store Manager, Tom.  I called Tom up and explained what happened to him.  He immediately revoked my ban and called her into his office to inform her that she needs to take care of her obligations because if another person she owes money to (apparently this happened with her before!) shows up in the store to confront her about it, she would be terminated.

Well, she never paid up, never brought us the quad (she removed it from her parents house after the store incident), moved and transferred to another store (found the latter out rather recently).  There is no statute of limitations on a personal purchase contract, so, at least now I know where to have her served wish me luck!

Anyhow…

We’re hoping to take a drive out to California come June.  Want to cruise around my old stomping grounds and hang out at the beach for a few days.  That’s a rather pricey roadtrip, and one I haven’t done in quite some time.  I’m really looking forward to it, but, as always, there’s a catch.

I also am considering asking my former wife to allow my daughter to fly out here during the summer.  And, considering out limited funds, it’s going to be a rather tough goal to meet.  Not to mention trying to find things to do as a family while she’s here.  Just the airfare alone is upwards of $1000!!  So California would be a no-go this summer, for sure.  Typically, I would ask a 50-50 split on the bill, however, I know she has things a bit tough at the moment as well, and, if things don’t work out fully with matters she’s going through currently, it could get a lot tougher for her.  So asking to divvy up the tab right now is a no-go.  (for those of you who still can’t understand why not, think of this… the tighter/tougher it gets on her, as a single mother, the tighter and tougher it get’s on her kids [including our daughter].  So I would much rather her save the scratch for things like food and clothing).  If push comes to shove, and believe me, I would be really pushing back against my desire to see her, she might have to wait until next summer.  Maybe by then the docs will figure out how bad the damages are to me and I can get back to work and some real money (fingers crossed).

Damn I get distracted don’t I?  Seem to be all over the map on this one! (Though see the correlation between them all and my dilemma?! well… I do ;p)

So, to all you late-twenties/early-thirty somethings out there…

What do you do when you start feeling lonely, cooped up, bored stiff and on a limited budget?  I’d like some input here please.  Computer games, websites, chess, cards and family game night just aren’t cutting it.

(When responding, please try to mention things that include family [where applicable] and not alcohol, drugs, parties or bars.  And things under a tight budget, please.  I need some ideas lol, thx!)

~Sun

This entry was posted on Friday, January 29th, 2010 at 11:07 pm and is filed under General Discussion, More a Personal Thing, Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.